Its around day three now, how have i survived, one main message keeps filtering through my mind, I call it the Beckham hint to survival,"Breathe in, Breathe out."
The plan as i call it is working, today my youngest asked me what was going on, where me and dad fighting, said it wasnt fair dad was sleeping on the couch he didnt look comfortable.  My first thought was he would look alot more uncomfortable with the garden axe coming out of his forehead, but i swallowed that retort and said we are having a serious fight and it was best for dad to sleep downstairs.  Kids are shrewd, you know, so she goes how serious, mam, and is not happy with the pretty serious answer. I hate to see them hurt, but I am continuing with the plan, he is going at the weekend
The next few days passed with me distressed and upset when he was there and the kids where not, and when they were there and he was not I was just sad, but no drama, the washing got done, the dinners got made and eaten and my hurt and horror grew..
I asked him about whore alot, he said she knew all about me, and that he was married with kids, but that she knew how unhappy he had been, and that he didnt love me anymore, and that she was not the reason/ I was me and my lack of attention to him, his feeling like he was left in a corner, just an atm, that was his life only wanted when it suited me.  I am a strong woman but jesus that caused some dent, so I told him, he was a scumbag and a disgrace, and then i told him he should have died, it would have been better and you know what he should have.........