So the pretence is over for the time being, All the efforts are on getting the payments down, the main problem I guess was the high cost of our mortgage, and there is no denying that it was high, he had paid so far but the pressure was getting to him, he wanted to move into a place of his own, things were not nice for him in his mams his brother  lived there with her and to be quite honest I wouldnt want to live with them, they were kinda loopey,
His brother walks in wet grass without shoes on to dispel any electricity that has built up in his body every so often, and he writes poetry, he is the most immature mature student I have yet had the misfortune to meet, but right at this moment in time he now looked like the better brother.
So the pressure was on for me to reduce payments to a interest only mortgage, we finally had got our first mediation meeting, and the mediator felt that for a year it may be the only way forward for us, so dammit I agreed to apply for the mortgage interest only.  This means that we pay nothing off the capital owed on the house only what was the interest charge, but it was better than a default payment.
The thing is lots of people at the moment are on interest only, because of the recession, but it was hard to accept that we were in the position that we could and should have been continuing to pay our way, and secure the assets we had for our kids and our future, but of course that future was no more and now i had to concentrate on securing our present, that I wouldnt be in a panic every month end if he would pay or not pay the mortgage, I couldnt manage on my own, so once again he controlled my destiny, and the decisions he made changed all that was me and mine.