Some days I just sit and wonder what has been the worse thing of all this,
is it the deceit,the betrayel, the loss,
I guess on different days its different things that are worse,
but everyday, every single day,
the hardest thing for me to take is the horrible way he treats me.

I dont understand how this man, could have lived the life and the lies,
for over a two year period, anyway, but how could he have hidden the
feelings, disrespect, dislike, and what at times borders on hate, that
he has for me.

Now I know that in order for him to live with his conscience
or lack of maybe, he has to pass the blame away from him,
I understand that, I know that he has done that, its all my fault
according to him, even in the screaming banshee conversation, he said to
me, "If you had of looked after me properly in the home, then I wouldn't
have had to go elsewhere would I".
Of course that set poor banshee about three octaves higher
than I was already at.
I do as I said know that this is the tactic
that lying cheating scumbags take,
but does this information help me.
No.

My best sister, she can't understand him either, she says he lied so well
why cant he just lie to you again. What is his problem?, why cant he just
pretend he gives a shit, say he is sorry and let on he accepts responsibility.

That of course would be nice, but then as I have just said, he is no longer nice
to me, I guess he no longer needs to be nice he is getting nothing from me now,
only grief and that doesnt count in his book,
I dont count in his book.