I had another recent interesting conversation with a close friend of mine, who asked me did I hate Him, I said I didnt really know how I felt about him, as when I thought about us, I really thought about how I felt about me, and how all this had affected me.

My feeling for him, well to be honest at the moment and from the moment I found out , Its like all the emotions have been sucked out of me, and left a vast swirling hole inside my chest. Its so hard to describe, but its like, there is no feeling for him inside me apart from my hurt, my disappointment.

So anyway, my friend says to me, what would you want to happen to him, if you where wishing a deep nasty wish. I dont think the reply I gave was exactly what either of us expected to come out of my mouth, but sometimes even my truth surprises me.

I would like that himself and whore, were together banging away goodho, and then he gets this massive pain in his chest, falls down dead on top of whore, crushing the life out, and then they both lay there for days, as noone misses them, and the flies gather on them.
Jeez, now that is sick, Maybe Im not handling the situation well after all.